Wests Tigers icon and head coach Benji Marshall has lifted the lid on a retirement that might have never happened.
Speaking in a wide-ranging sit-down with fellow former Kiwi international Shaun Johnson, the man who graced the jerseys of the Tigers, Dragons, Broncos and Rabbitohs, he verbally agreed on a deal with another NRL club that would have kept him playing through to the end of 2023.
"You know what's crazy, I actually wasn't going to retire when I retired. I had literally agreed verbally to go to the Gold Coast for two more years to keep playing," Marshall told Johnson in the interview that aired on Fox Sports Tuesday night.
"I regret it a little bit, to be honest."
Marshall was helping South Sydney reach the 2021 grand final, turning back the clock in magnificent fashion as the Rabbitohs's Swiss Army knife of the bench, popping up in whatever role the moment demanded.
It was the perfect curtain call. Bennett, his coach at Souths and a guiding hand throughout much of his career, clearly thought so too.
"Wayne sat me down and goes ‘what a way to go out on a grand final. What else have you got to prove in the game?'" Marshall remembered.
"I thought about it and thought 'he's right' and for me, I don't want to keep moving my family. I've got young kids and to move them away from my other family would have been hard. So I actually made the decision for other people, usually I'm quite selfish and make the decision for myself.
"But I chose to retire off the back of that conversation and I knew before the grand final that I was retiring. I just didn't tell anyone.
"But looking back now, I sort of wish I kept playing. I still jump into sessions now and think 'I could still do this'."
That competitive fire, it turns out, hasn't been extinguished in the slighest.
Now 41 and rebuilding the Tigers into one of the competition's more dangerous propositions, Marshall's coaching fingerprints are unmistakable; animated on the sideline, sleeves rolled up at training, every bit as electric in presence as he was with the ball in hand.
"I actually still think I can play now," the 41-year-old told Johnson.
"This is the thing with me, I always believe that I can still do it no matter what. Even if I can't I'll still think I can. My brain is weird.
"We lost both of our halves on the weekend, and the first thing that came to my head was like 'maybe this is the universe telling me to play again'.
"Then I've got to go home and look in the mirror and just jab myself: 'Bro, wake up'."
The conversation with Johnson traverses the full arc of Marshall's career; his formative years, the mesmerising footwork that became his calling card, a flirtation with rugby union, and the lasting impression he's left on a generation of players that include Johnston himself.
It was former coach Tim Sheens who Marshall credits with giving him the freedom to be unapologetically himself.
"Playing footy, I was lucky I got coached by Tim Sheens," he said.
"He would say 'if you practice something at training, you can do it on the field'.
"[Until then], every coach, every person, every player said 'what the f**k is this thing jump-step that you do. Culturally that's not what we do in rugby league'.
"Even coaching now, sometimes you feel like you've got to copy other people or do it a certain way that everyone is doing it… For me I've just always done things my way and being myself and I think that's an important lesson."
For all that Bennett talked him out of extending his playing days, Marshall holds the veteran coach in tthe highest possible regard, and the story of how he ended up in Redfern in the first place is wonderfully understated.
With his second stint at the Tigers done and dusted and the phone calls to Melbourne ultimtaely leading to nowhere, Marshall picked up the phone to the man that always seems to have the answers.
"I'd finished at the Tigers [for a second time] and I had nowhere to go. I was talking to a few teams: Bulldogs, Melbourne and I was potentially going to go to the Storm, and it fell through.
"I rang Wayne and said ‘hey, what do you think I should do – I'm not ready to retire?'. He goes 'come play for me'. I go 'are you sure?' and he goes 'yeah come, you'll be great for us. Let me just ring Reyno [Adam Reynolds] and Cody [Cody Walker] and I'll call you back in one hour'.
"He calls me back and goes 'all right, see you tomorrow!'.
"I'm like 'hang on, what's the deal?' He goes ‘don't worry about the contract… You've got nowhere to go anyway, just turn up tomorrow'.
"I rocked up the next day and just signed it. Minimum wage. But it wasn't about the money, it never was for me my whole career. I probably played for way less than I could have.
"My first day with Reyno and Cody they go ‘thank god you're here, Reyno doesn't train, you can do all the reps for him'.
"It was mad, I did all the reps, played lock, played hooker, played in the halves, the fullback, whatever. Honestly, literally, Wayne would say to me 'I don't know where you're going to play today'. Wherever the game needs, you're going to go on. If we need to win, go on and win."
