Players forced to assemble IKEA furniture to pass concussion test

The NRL has launched a new set of standards regarding the concussion test that will see its players attempt the assembly of IKEA coffee tables and French armoires in a bid to stay on the field.

The move is designed to circumnavigate clubs using their own doctors to make dodgy head injury assessments and keep marquee players in the game.

The NRL held a press conference regarding the changes earlier today.

“Obviously the NRL needs to tighten up its approach in this area which is why we will be demanding more rigorous cognitive testing to take place,” NRL CEO Todd Greenberg said.

“Players will have three minutes to construct a range of IKEA furniture with an NRL appointee to then test the product holds up to basic industry standards when completed.”

“If it’s a really bad head knock, the player will have to conduct the same test but using only the Japanese instructions.”

Some clubs have already implemented changes to their training routine to help adapt to the new HIA process.

“We’ve cut back on ball work this week to focus instead on hinges and wingnuts…and all future video sessions will be dedicated to watching re-runs of The Block in preparation for next week,” Newcastle Coach Nathan Brown told us.

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