Former NRL enforcer Kane Evans has brought to light his struggle with alcohol and drug abuse following his NRL career, while also coming to terms with his sexuality in a powerful interview.
Evan revealed suicidal thoughts have often crept into his life through tough times since he was a teenager, which was compounded when he became homeless earlier this year.
The former NRL star, who played for the Sydney Roosters, Parramatta Eels and New Zealand Warriors, revealed the upsetting news in an interview with James Bracey and Nine's 100% Footy.
“I had three goals in life: to play NRL, to buy my parents a house, and then I wanted to top myself,” Evans said.
“Because I was living in denial, from a young age I know that I'm gay but I went down every other avenue to build up these walls to be someone to escape who I am.
“I still can't believe I'm here talking to you, this is definitely my worst nightmare, but I know if I surrender, it's the start to a new life. I've been fighting a war within since I was about 15 years old, and it's not sustainable.
“I was sleeping in parks, doing drugs, trying to ultimately pass away so I didn't have to come to this. But I know there are people struggling with the same struggle I've gone through, so I'm very blessed that I can come here and talk to you and be able to save a life or two.
“I've carried that around my whole life but I'm here today to show people you don't have to live like that. Even now I feel more free just by saying it out loud. I've brought it to light.”
Evans also had to navigate through distressing moments when people would blackmail him about his sexuality, bringing him “shame and fear and guilt in myself”.
“Now I've come and spoken about it, they've lost their power,” he said.
“Coming and just speaking today, fear shame and guilt, I've cut ties with all that, and I feel peace within, and I feel a weight has lifted off my shoulders.”
Evans last featured in an NRL system with the Warriors in 2021, where he made a switch to Hull FC in the Super League to finish out his career after being cut early from the Auckland-based outfit.
His time in England propelled his alcohol abuse, and his contract was terminated six months early.
Evans returned to Australia to open a cafe, but quickly turned sour, leaving him $50,000 in debt and homeless.
“I started going down a slippery slope. Started numbing myself with alcohol and drugs,” he said.
“Looking back now I realise there were deeper things I was masking, and I was just using every outlet I could until the point where I was couch-surfing and became homeless.”
At that stage, former NRL star and RLPA's past player and transition manager Joe Galuvao reached out to Evans.
“He said ‘you know you deserve to live a good life? You deserve healing',” Evans said.
“I sat there and thought about it: why do I deserve healing or a good life?
“When he said that I started questioning maybe death isn't in the plan for me yet, maybe I do deserve to get help. I thank god he came and visited me, he got me into rehab with the help of the RLPA.”
Evan's former coach, Trent Robinson, also reached out to Evans with relief, telling him he will pay for his mental health support journey, while also gifting money from his personal life to assist the Fijian international's rent.
Evans is now over 130 days sober, and revealed before the interview he has never told his parents about his sexuality, and declared he will tell them before the program aired.
“I love my mum and dad so much and they know but I need to tell them, it has to come from my mouth,” Evans added.
“My mum, she's ill at the minute, but I've got so much love for them. By the time this airs I would have told them already, and I can't wait for that moment because then I'll be free. I feel free now but once I tell them I'll be free. Nothing will stop me after that.
“... I'm very blessed that I've faced my fears. I know some people who have done some gangster things, but I feel like this is up there.
“I'm proud of myself, when I look in the mirror I'm going to smile now and not have those bad thoughts.”
