EVERY NRL club's Christmas wish list

Merry Christmas! While we all finish wrapping our presents and preparing those monstrous Christmas lunches, NRL players are wrapping up the first part of their pre-season. While we might dream of a PS5 or some AirPods for Christmas this year, NRL clubs will be hoping to receive their own special gifts this holiday season, and let's say some are dreaming big. Before we get into it - thank you to all for joining us for another massive year in the NRL, one unlike anything we've experienced before, so Merry Christmas from everyone here at Zero Tackle, and hope you're all ready for a stellar 2021! Brisbane Broncos Merry new Milford. 'Bah Humbug' will be cried amongst Brisbane fans when reading this, and if social media is anything to go by, they've given up hope on their enigmatic five-eighth. Unlucky not to win the Clive Churchill in the 2015 NRL Grand Final, it's been all downhill from their for 'Milf', and if he wants a contract in Red Hill for the 2022 season, it's time to pull the finger out. [caption id="attachment_48827" align="alignnone" width="696"] SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA - SEPTEMBER 15: Anthony Milford of the Broncos looks on after another Eels try during the NRL Elimination Final match between the Parramatta Eels and the Brisbane Broncos at Bankwest Stadium on September 15, 2019 in Sydney, Australia. (Photo by Matt King/Getty Images)[/caption] Canberra Raiders Bodycams, for the players. The Raiders need something to be able to check in on the players. Tom Starling has joined a growing list of Raiders to have had some trouble with the law, so Santa may need to give the club something to monitor their players next season. Whilst Curtis Scott is most definitely excluded from this list after their sickening video of how the police treated him earlier this year, Starling joins Jack Wighton as current stars to have been cuffed after a wild night out. And with names like Todd Carney, Josh Dugan and Blake Ferguson marring the club in the past, bodycams may do the trick. It's either that or cholesterol pills for Ricky. [caption id="attachment_72663" align="alignnone" width="696"] CANBERRA, AUSTRALIA - JULY 25: Tom Starling of the Raiders celebrates victory in the round 11 NRL match between the Canberra Raiders and the South Sydney Rabbitohs at GIO Stadium on July 25, 2020 in Canberra, Australia. (Photo by Mark Metcalfe/Getty Images)[/caption] Canterbury Bankstown Bulldogs Some Christmas spirit from Penrith. Canterbury have got their man and signed Matt Burton from the 2022 season onwards, but a little Christmas spirit from Ivan Cleary would allow the Dubbo local in Burton to walk early, and ensure he gets to start Round 1 in the NRL. Penrith just picked up Jaeman Salmon from the Eels, which means with another young half on the books, Cleary may be feeling generous. Either that, or the man from the North Pole will have to pull some strings. [caption id="attachment_58232" align="alignnone" width="696"] SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA - JUNE 12: Matt Burton of the Panthers is tackled during the round five NRL match between the Parramatta Eels and the Penrith Panthers at Bankwest Stadium on June 12, 2020 in Sydney, Australia. (Photo by Mark Kolbe/Getty Images)[/caption] Cronulla Sharks Fountain of Youth. Read through Cronulla's roster, and they've got a dynamite side... If it was 2014. John Morris will be praying he wakes up on Friday morning with a few drops from the Fountain of Youth in his stocking, anything to get the likes of Matt Moylan, Andrew Fifita, Josh Dugan, Chad Townsend and co firing once again. [caption id="attachment_31834" align="alignnone" width="696"] SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA - FEBRUARY 24: Josh Dugan of the Sharks looks on during the NRL trial match between the Cronulla Sharks and the Wests Tigers at Campbelltown Sports Stadium on February 24, 2018 in Sydney, Australia. (Photo by Brett Hemmings/Getty Images)[/caption] Gold Coast Titans No price tag guilt. The Titans don't want a lot for Christmas this year, they simply want to know they haven't spent too much this (holiday) season. While most clubs have been quiet when it comes to opening their wallet, the Titans want to ensure they haven't wasted their money on some rather big gifts. [caption id="attachment_50190" align="alignnone" width="696"] BRISBANE, AUSTRALIA - MARCH 28: David Fifita of the Broncos takes on the defence during the round 3 NRL match between the Brisbane Broncos and the St George Illawarra Dragons at Suncorp Stadium at Suncorp Stadium on March 28, 2019 in Brisbane, Australia. (Photo by Bradley Kanaris/Getty Images)[/caption] They don't come much bigger than David Fifita and Tino Fa'asuamaleaui, who they'll be paying close to $2 million a year between the two. Manly Warringah Sea Eagles Bionic hamstrings. I'm not quite sure the technology exists yet, but Santa's elves will find a way. Two seasons in a row Manly have looked incredibly promising until superstar Tom Trbojevic was struck down with consecutive hamstring injuries. After losing Addin Fonua-Blake, they need as much star power as they can on the park in 2021. And Santa while you're at it, drop a pair off to recruit Kieran Foran as well... We'd all like to see him succeed in Brookie next year. [caption id="attachment_27377" align="alignnone" width="696"] BRISBANE, AUSTRALIA - MAY 13: Tom Trbojevic of the Sea Eagles suffers an injury during the round 10 NRL match between the Manly Sea Eagles and the Brisbane Broncos at Suncorp Stadium on May 13, 2017 in Brisbane, Australia. (Photo by Jason O'Brien/Getty Images)[/caption] Melbourne Storm A Christ-Smith miracle It looks like Cameron Smith is all but gone from the club, and Brandon Smith appears to be in his final season at the club. It's hard to picture a way to convince Brandon to stay beyond 2021 with Harry Grant at the club, but it's not the worse predicament to have. They've just had the greatest hooker of all time, now the tussle between whether they want to keep the incumbent Queensland hooker, or the incumbent Kiwi's hooker. It's a big ask for Santa, but to quote the Old El Paso ad, 'Porque no los dos?'. [caption id="attachment_72462" align="alignnone" width="696"] MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA - JULY 27: Cameron Smith (c) of the Storm (R) talks with Brandon Smith of the Storm during the round 19 NRL match between the Melbourne Storm and the Manly Sea Eagles at AAMI Park on July 27, 2019 in Melbourne, Australia. (Photo by Kelly Defina/Getty Images)[/caption] Newcastle Knights Kalyn to focus on the on-field goosey's. Kalyn Ponga launched his new beer a few weeks ago, a nice little drop by the name of 'Goo-c'. And while coach Adam O'Brien will appreciate a few cases for Christmas celebrations, he'll be hoping Ponga focuses more on the on-field goosey's in 2021 than the Goo-c's off it. [caption id="attachment_79716" align="alignnone" width="696"] SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA - OCTOBER 04: Kalyn Ponga of the Knight looks on during the NRL Elimination Final match between the South Sydney Rabbitohs and the Newcastle Knights at ANZ Stadium on October 04, 2020 in Sydney, Australia. (Photo by Cameron Spencer/Getty Images)[/caption] Ponga won the Knight's player of the year last season, but if you ask many Novocastrians, Kurt Mann was the club's best in the spine last year. With Kurt set to start the season on the bench, it's Ponga's time to shine, and take the next big leap in his career/ New Zealand Warriors Dorothy's slippers. You've seen the Wizard of Oz, right? 'There's no place like home, there's no place like home'. We all have, are, and will continue to praise the Warriors for their sacrifices in 2020, and it looks like that shall continue in early 2021 with the New Zealand-based club set to start the season on the Central Coast. I for one can't wait to see a packed Mt Smart Stadium at some point next year, and see those red slippers in motion, glued to Roger Tuivasa-Sheck's dazzling feet. [caption id="attachment_47111" align="alignnone" width="696"] AUCKLAND, NEW ZEALAND - AUGUST 31: Roger Tuivasa-Sheck of the Warriors makes a run during the round 25 NRL match between the New Zealand Warriors and the Canberra Raiders at Mt Smart Stadium on August 31, 2018 in Auckland, New Zealand. (Photo by Anthony Au-Yeung/Getty Images)[/caption] North Queensland Cowboys Valentines Day, every weekend. Cowboys fans were itching to see their new custodian take flight last season, and he was... well, underwhelming. There's no doubt the talent he is but injuries and the year off he took seemed to take a toll. [caption id="attachment_56951" align="alignnone" width="696"] TOWNSVILLE, AUSTRALIA - MAY 29: Valentine Holmes of the Cowboys passes the ball during the round three NRL match between the North Queensland Cowboys and the Gold Coast Titans at QCB Stadium on May 29, 2020 in Townsville, Australia. (Photo by Ian Hitchcock/Getty Images)[/caption] Hopefully a dosage of reality after that lacklustre season, and some luck on the injury front for the whole squad will see Townsville celebrate Valentines Day each round. Santa can do that, right? Parramatta Eels A time machine. It's been an extra cruel year for Parramatta fans. They started the season as favourites, as did halfback Mitchell Moses for the Dally M medal. And while the start was good, the ending, not so much. [caption id="attachment_48315" align="alignnone" width="696"] SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA - APRIL 22: Mitchell Moses of the Eels celebrates scoring a try during the round 6 NRL match between the Parramatta Eels and Wests Tigers at Bankwest Stadium on April 22, 2019 in Sydney, Australia. (Photo by Mark Kolbe/Getty Images)[/caption] For a second time in four years, the Eels ground out a solid regular season, only to go out in straight sets. So please Santa, a time machine dropped by the Parramatta River would be lovely, with the date 'September 28, 1986' punched in. Give them a taste of success for Christmas. Penrith Panthers Great Wall of Penrith. There's no doubt Penrith fans will think they're the pride of the league after their unreal 2020 season, and with clubs now taking a LOT of attention to their youngsters, Ivan Cleary will want to do his best Donald Trump impression and build a Great Wall around the borders of Penrith, anything to keep those opposition recruiters out of Western Sydney. [caption id="attachment_34959" align="alignnone" width="696"] PENRITH, AUSTRALIA - JULY 13: Jarome Luai of the Panthers is tackled during the round 18 NRL match between the Panthers and the Sharks at Panthers Stadium on July 13, 2018 in Penrith, Australia. (Photo by Matt King/Getty Images)[/caption] South Sydney Rabbitohs A Wayne-derful send off The Bunnies confirmed early last year that Wayne Bennett will finish up at the club after 2021, with understudy Jason Demetriou to take the reigns beyond that. [caption id="attachment_66459" align="alignnone" width="696"] SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA - MARCH 09: Rabbbitohs assistant coach Jason Demetriou talks to Rabbitohs head coach Wayne Bennett during a South Sydney Rabbitohs NRL training session at Redfern Oval on March 09, 2020 in Sydney, Australia. (Photo by Mark Metcalfe/Getty Images)[/caption] He's already 2-0 in the coaching world, Demetriou, but Wayne will want to leave Redfern a winner. They didn't need Santa to have Jai Arrow delivered, but a bit of magic dust from Santa's sack to ensure the likes of their spine all stays healthy wouldn't go astray. St. George Illawarra Dragons An aviary I would say a bird cage, but Jack Bird will need more freedom than that if he's to return to his damaging best next year. He's been hardly sighted on-field since departing Cronulla due to successive shoulder and knee reconstructions, but a return to his junior club and a move to lock will have Jack raring to go. He's not a peacock, but you got to let him fly. [caption id="attachment_48976" align="alignnone" width="696"] SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA - MAY 02: Jack Bird of the Broncos is tackled during the round eight NRL match between the South Sydney Rabbitohs and the Brisbane Broncos at ANZ Stadium on May 02, 2019 in Sydney, Australia. (Photo by Cameron Spencer/Getty Images)[/caption] Sydney Roosters A new salary cap auditor. The Roosters don't really need Santa, they've got their own Saint Nick running the show. But after reports of the Sydney Roosters needing to shed players for the salary cap, I had to get my ears tested, because I'd never heard that phrase before. While the Roosters must shed weight off the books to retain Angus Crichton beyond next year, a new auditor might make that go a little smoother. [caption id="attachment_42368" align="alignnone" width="696"] SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA - MARCH 15: Angus Crichton of the Roosters runs onto the field during the round one NRL match between the Sydney Roosters and the South Sydney Rabbitohs at Sydney Cricket Ground on March 15, 2019 in Sydney, Australia. (Photo by Cameron Spencer/Getty Images)[/caption] Wests Tigers A copy of 'How To Climb A Ladder for Dummies'. Cruel I know, but even if, a big if, Wests make the finals in 2021, it will have been a decade since their last appearance in the post-season. They seem to have grasped the concept of climbing a ladder, something head coach Michael Maguire is experienced in, but they need Santa to drop off a copy so they can figure how to climb up to the top half of a ladder. Though despite reading thoroughly this pre-season, it's hard to see them getting a foot off the ground in 2021. [caption id="attachment_55058" align="alignnone" width="696"] Wests Tigers coach Michael Maguire (Image: NRL.com)[/caption]